You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
