we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
