Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I want a musical about memes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
