oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
