ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
