What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
