You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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