Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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