In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
