he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
