life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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