I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
