I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
