I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
