Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why didn't you poke me back
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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