I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday