I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im holly from the hills drunk
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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