Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
