My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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