all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
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I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
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Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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