i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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