is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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