Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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