I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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