Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
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I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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