If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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