My liver just broke up with me...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
