using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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