You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
