i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
