I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
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Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
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I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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