But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
