took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
