My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
