Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
