I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
