I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
