You're completely useless in the revolution.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Randomize
