these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
