So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
