it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Found the puke drawer
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
