to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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