apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
