youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
please come you make the beer taste better
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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