I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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