Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
