I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
