i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize