it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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