the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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