I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
