no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
