Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
