STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize