Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
