kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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