I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
