U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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