just survived the first fart of the relationship.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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