sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
