she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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