Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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