just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
