I bet he comes in French.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
