If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
