So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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