Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
